He knows my name

The past week was crazy.  It seemed like everyone at the GSF school and orphanage was sick.  We had 20 kids with malaria, copious cuts, burns, and jiggers (fleas that bury an egg sac in your feet), kids with coughs, sore throats, runny noses and red eyes.  One boy had a prolapsed rectum and one of our girls was diagnosed with Brucellosis.   Then we got a new kid Monday, Sebastian.  He came to us very sick and we found out he has a bilateral cleft palate that will need to be repaired (more about him later).  Aside from nursing stuff, a high school team from Florida arrived Saturday, our water pump broke so no running water, and lake flies COVERED the inside of my house.  Seriously, I think it was probably very similar to what the Egyptians faced when God sent the plague of gnats.  All this to say, life at GSF is bustling. 

     In times like these I forget their stories, their background, their wounds.  I look at them in the present.  I see what needs to get done right now.  Who do I treat, who do I meet and who do I beat…kidding, I leave the spanking to the directorsJ. 

      Sunday finally came.  About 30 of the ex GSF kids (called big brothers and sisters) came to visit and lead worship.  Church was full.  It was awesome catching up with the ones I knew and meeting others for the first time.  About half of them got on stage to lead praise and worship (it’s different here).  The praise portion was lively, with everyone singing loudly, dancing, and clapping their hands.  We then moved to a time of worship where slower songs are sung.  They began singing the song “He Knows My Name”.  My heart instantly broke.  Here, in front of me, behind me, beside me where kids whose fathers died, kids whose fathers left them, kids whose father harmed them.  Their stories, backgrounds, and wounds came to light.  I watched their faces, their expressions.  I listened to them sing, “I have a father, He calls me his own.  He’ll never leave me, no matter where I go.”  My eyes welled up and tears streamed down my face.  I have always loved this song, but never have I believed the words I was singing as much as I did today.  The kids and big brothers and sisters cried out to the only father they have; a father who will not leave them nor let them down like their earthly fathers.  I thought about my father and all the times I’ve run to him.  I thought about all the good memories I have with my father.  The disparity between their experiences and my own was painful.  Inside I ached, wishing the kids could have what I did.  The song goes on, “He knows my name, He knows my every thought, He sees each tear that falls, and hears me when I call”.  The kids at GSF yearn for you to know their name.  When I arrived in October, black kids with shaved heads followed me around the first week and quizzed me saying, “What is my name?”  They so badly want to be known and remembered.  This song nailed it.  God is their father.  God is the only person that will never leave them.  God listens to them and cares.  God knows everything about them, even their name.  What a beautiful picture of a loving heavenly Father.